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Tejamitra says...
When we speak about our experience, we are bringing in an element of objectivity to something which has been purely subjective. (Journaling also helps with this). This is invaluable in the process of assimilation.
But there are many other benefits from sharing with others in the right circumstances. With good, non-judgemental listening, trust is slowly built up which enables more and more opening up and disclosure, ie more clarity, understanding and assimilation. Also the example of others often frees us up, (“Oh, I’m not the only one who….”). And again, often, the points raised lead to an aspect of Dharma practice which is almost invariably relevant to all of us.
The development of this trust takes time and patience. Initially, we’re a bit like dogs meeting up, sniffing one another and taking in the ‘vibe’. And early on, it will take some courage to speak up. As mentioned above, being non-judgemental is important, although this does not mean suspending all discriminating wisdom. Kindness is obviously paramount. You may even be subject to being misunderstood or mis-judnged: it may then be necessary to forgive. All part of the process.
A fully functioning practice community is the Sangha at its best. People are relating to one another purely in terms of the Dharma. An element of verticality is necessary and will automatically be honoured. With someone’s progress, mudita automatically arises; whereas compassion will come naturally regarding challenge etc.
Sunada adds...
This is a checklist of points to consider based on the experience of one of the Circles that has started meeting. We found it helpful to discuss these points up front, especially since we didn't know each other very well to start.
Logistics
- When to meet, how often, and for how long each time?
- If online, what are the Zoom link arrangements?
- Perhaps agree to reassess after some time (e.g. 2-3 months) to see if everyone is happy with how things are going.
Expectations
- Confidentiality – It would be good to have everyone agree to confidentiality explicitly, and say what they specifically mean by that.
- Are there any other principles you'd like to agree on (e.g. kindly speech, respect for differences, etc.)
- Attendance – is there an expectation that everyone comes every time (barring illness, etc.), or is it more a drop-in group?
- Are you open to more members, or are you a closed group?
- Do you see each other as equals, or is there some verticality that will be honored?
Topics and format of meetings
- Topics - does your group focus on some particular aspect(s) of insight practice (e.g. Ten Fetters, Sadhana), or is it more open-ended?
- Discussion structure – How will you structure each meeting? For example, one person could start by sharing their experiences, which is then followed by open discussion.
- Do you want to have reportings-in or not? In other words, will your group function like a chapter (and get to know each others' personal lives broadly), or focus more narrowly on insight experiences?
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